This post is written for the educational benefit of male partners who have no clue (ahem—my husband) and for the many women in need of comic relief during the two weeks leading up to finding out if they are pregnant or not. This is my brain in the throes of the two week wait. As Kasey from The Bachelorette said, “Jump in. Stay a while.”
Ah, I love knitting and listening to Sarah McLaughlin. I think I’ll watch Sex and the City next. What? Charlotte’s tipped uterus makes sperm have to jump to the egg? My cervix is tipped backwards. Does that mean I’ll have a difficult time getting pregnant? Crap, crap, crap.
M doesn’t seem as excited as he was two days ago about the possibility of a baby. What if he doesn’t really want a baby and just caved in to my constant prodding? I heard couples who get pregnant like that end up divorced within five years.
OMG, my left boob broke out in a horribly itchy, red, hot rash. What if I have inflammatory breast cancer? What if I’m pregnant and have to get an abortion so I can have surgery and chemo and not die? What if it scars my uterus and I can never have babies?
Wow, I feel dizzy. What if I’m pregnant? What if I’m not?
Now that, my dear readers, is why every woman should have a good therapist—or at least a really good friend who is also a really good listener—to accompany her through the two week wait.
I leave you with an invaluable tip from my therapist:
“Remember not to get down on yourself for feeling anxious and depressed during this time. It’s not mental illness. It’s totally normal.”