I’m 11 weeks, 3 days, which means two fabulous milestones are just days away: the end of the first trimester, and the day I get to hear my baby’s heart beat for the first time.
Monday evening will be my second prenatal appointment. M is going with me for the first time, and I’m excited to introduce him to my midwife and the birth center. If M had it his way, I’d be giving birth at Georgetown medical, but he really doesn’t know much yet. Actually, he doesn’t know squat.
In an attempt to bring him up to speed, I’m forcing him to watch The Business of Being Born with me this weekend. I don’t really expect everything to click for him overnight, but at least he’ll get a snapshot of the reasons behind my decisions. I’m still waiting for him to get excited about this baby. Yes, he’s excited off and on. He has moments of gushiness. But I know it’s not real for him yet. In all honesty, it’s not quite real for me yet either.
I’ve been holding back from falling in love with my baby. I’m holding my breath until I know it’s for sure for real. If I hear the heart beat like I expect Monday evening, I very well may burst into tears. It will be my first concrete message from my baby that says “Yes, Mom, I’m here. I’m for real.”